People Watching at Starbucks…
Okay kids, pay attention, this is important life learning you will not get anywhere else.
I have a theory.
After visiting my local Starbucks and eavesdropping on conversations, I have concluded there is an indisputable link between coffee, politics and sex. To support my theory, I have devised a coffee-politics-sex matrix that allows the causal observer to identify ones political and sexual orientation by simply observing how random people order their coffee.
Anarchist > Espresso > Asexual
Radical > Black Coffee > Heterosexual -or- Homosexual
Liberal > Cappuciono w/Straw > Gay
Centrist > House Blend > Heterosexual (Not monogamous)
Conservative > Maxwell House w/Viagara Pill > Closet Homosexual
Libertarian > Vanilla Steamer > Only one gay encounter in college
Christian Right > Water > Hard to tell…wasn’t allowed to attend Sex-Ed class
Know anyone who fits these??? I do.
Powerful stuff my freinds…powerful stuff 🙂
Posted on October 4, 2007, in Political Humor, Religion and tagged Anarchist, Coffee, Conservative, Espresso, Liberals, Libertarian, Political Humor, Politics, Radical, Sex, Sexual Orientation, Starbucks. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.