Disney to Alter Famous Ride to Accomodate ‘Fat’ Americans…


Coming this January, Disney Land in Southern California will be closing its most famous ride – the one where visitors pile into flat-bottomed boats and go on a shiny plastic water tour of Planet Earth. The ride has to undergo some renovation…a retrofit to accommodate fatter riders.  

The reason?

Disneyland’s visitors have been getting bigger, wider and fatter, and the boats as they are currently constructed are not designed to carry the ‘extra weight.’ In fact, the boats have a habit of running aground under all the extra weight.

Of course Disney denies that is the reason. The official reason for the retrofit according to the company is because a series of fibreglass patches on the bottom of the waterway have created obstacles that need to be cleared.

However, people who frequent the park and employees have a different opinion.

Former employees and self-appointed ‘Disney watchers’ all attest to the frequent occasions on which the boats, orginally built in 1964 when we were thinner and smarter as a nation, on “It’s a Small World” ride, back up because a vessel carrying too much weight simply grinds to a halt. In fact, Disney employees operating the ride try their very best to calculate the girth and size of the riders coming down the line, ‘guest-imate’ their weight, and purposely leave a row or two empty on many boats.” Even, then, those tactics sometimes don’t work! Riders today just pack too much beef per rider.

The solution?

Disney will be digging a deeper fibreglass channel and replacing the old fleet of boats with new, ‘more buoyant’ upgrades. Because much of the ride is indoors and invisible to its operators, it can take up to 10 minutes to get a boat ‘un-stuck.” Then comes the gridlock. Then comes the unhappy patrons.

It has been reported that overweight visitors are a problem at other rides too, including the Pirates of the Caribbean, Pinocchio and Alice in Wonderland.

The irony is that Disney has a joint marketing agreement with McDonald’s. At Disneyland and other theme parks, there is a plentiful supply of giant sodas, churros and ice cream, burgers, etc. And the Disney answer to people who get upset when their boat gets stuck?

The staff offers riders a free food ticket by way of apology.

Oh boy.

Posted on November 10, 2007, in Health Care, Political Humor, Politics, Social Policy and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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